I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
