My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
