I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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