There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
