everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
