it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
