Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Still dying that you shit outside
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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