there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They took my balls.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
