my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
