Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
