just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
