So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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