A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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