I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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