u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize