I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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