We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
