I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.