Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

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  (651): Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward. http://tfl.nu/djmy
  Replies (64) Good night (1910) Bad night (8479)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over

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  (570): She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over http://tfl.nu/astk
  Replies (8) Good night (2315) Bad night (621)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts

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  (914): Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts http://tfl.nu/cnqz
  Replies (12) Good night (3281) Bad night (868)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.

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  (574): pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face. http://tfl.nu/q45o
  Replies (42) Good night (1575) Bad night (5228)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.

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  (978): we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now. http://tfl.nu/2hw3
  Replies (36) Good night (4465) Bad night (812)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?

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  (740): Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/5skf
  Replies (17) Good night (5047) Bad night (760)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up

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  (404): It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up http://tfl.nu/zf6y
  Replies (27) Good night (1055) Bad night (4732)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night

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  (843): Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night http://tfl.nu/lokc
  Replies (29) Good night (4011) Bad night (1368)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.

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  (615): Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again. http://tfl.nu/rwfi
  Replies (17) Good night (4330) Bad night (1240)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.

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  (570): Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful. http://tfl.nu/oenz
  Replies (6) Good night (1783) Bad night (1012)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.

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  (571): Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was. http://tfl.nu/tmsm
  Replies (12) Good night (3253) Bad night (1550)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...

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  (239): His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during... http://tfl.nu/a1a1
  Replies (11) Good night (696) Bad night (2755)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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  (+27): I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me. http://tfl.nu/p5fs
  Replies (13) Good night (549) Bad night (1002)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.

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  (703): I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM. http://tfl.nu/2ycx
  Replies (4) Good night (1089) Bad night (482)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.

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  (423): Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/tqj8
  Replies (2) Good night (1372) Bad night (366)

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