The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
