i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.