I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.