who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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