First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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