Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
