I just saw a hot homeless man
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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