I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
