i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize