I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
