i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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