He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
