i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
