I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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