so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
