You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
