i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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