Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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