yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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