Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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