just tell him i said nine months
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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