I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
