She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
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Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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