Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
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I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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