I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
