Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
