We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
