I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
