Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize