i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
how drunk are you?
Several
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
