I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
