Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize