I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Vodka?
Forever.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
