Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
