just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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