thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
