this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
