Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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