is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
