Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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