so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
