just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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