Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
