dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
